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Texas, Summer
They're just about finished with dinner when Adrian's phone sounds with a ringtone different from Ren's. Everybody is familiar with that one by now but this one is new. Adrian's eyes flick down at where the phone lies facedown on the table—Clemencia's rules apply to everyone at her table—and he sighs.
"Sorry," he says, picking up the phone and rising. "I have to take this."
He's out the back door out of earshot before he starts talking.
"Mom, hi, what's up?"
Danny glances up when Adrian gets up to answer the phone, brows pulling together for a second before he goes back to dragging his tortilla through the last of his beans.
“Mijo,” his mother says quietly.
Danny looks over at her, still chewing. “What?”
She tips her head toward the back where Adrian disappeared.
“He can take calls outside,” Danny says.
“Statistically, Adrian has only taken approximately twenty-three percent of his phone calls outside,” Sherrinford cuts in. “Ninety-five percent of those have resulted in him returning visibly out of sorts.”
Danny stares at him. “You keep statistics on his phone calls?”
Sherrinford gives him a look. "I merely pay attention."
“Okay. Okay, I’m going.”
Danny wipes his mouth, pushes himself up from the table, and heads toward the porch. Through the glass, he spots Adrian gesturing with one hand while he talks. Danny opens the door quietly and steps outside, staying near it rather than crowding him. He doesn’t interrupt. He just waits until Adrian notices him.
Adrian Niven
He doesn't hear Danny come out onto the patio, he's too busy explaining to his mother that no, dinner was not too many carbs, and no, he is not putting on weight during his "little vacation". He's about to ask her for the third time what she wants and why she's calling as he paces behind the house when he turns and Danny's shape catches in his peripheral vision.
"Gimme a minute," he says into the phone before muting it and lowering it to his side.
"You okay?" he asks Danny, who is standing there in his sling and his boot. "You need something, babe?"
Danny Hernández
Okay, that Danny notices.
“Just wanted to check on ya,” he says, staying where he is. “Everything alright?”
He doesn’t move any closer, leaving Adrian the space if he needs it.
Adrian Niven
"Me?" Adrian looks surprised, despite the fact that he's rhythmically clutching the phone in pulses. "I'm fine, it's just..." He shrugs. "Family stuff. I'll be back in to help with dishes, don't worry."
Danny Hernández
“Alright,” Danny concedes, stepping back inside.
He moves over to the window seat and lowers himself onto it, leaning his crutch against the wall within easy reach. From there, he can still keep an eye on Adrian through the glass without hovering.
Family stuff.
That covers a lot of ground where Adrian is concerned, most of it still closed off to Danny. He isn’t going to push him into talking before he’s ready. That doesn’t stop him from wondering how long Adrian plans to carry all of it by himself.
Adrian Niven
"I like your mother better," Adrian says in a huff when he comes back in. He slumps into a chair next to Danny and rubs his temples. "I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but she's... a lot, you know? And every time she calls, I just feel..." He sighs. "I don't know. I feel gross afterward."
He takes Danny's hand. "Sorry, I didn't want to bring a bad mood back into the house. Like I don't wanna contaminate your family with mine, I guess."
Danny Hernández
“You’re not gonna contaminate our family with anything,” Danny corrects, giving his hand a squeeze.
His jaw tightens. “I’m sorry she makes you feel like that. You shouldn’t have to deal with it.” He studies Adrian for a second. “Tell me what you need. If there’s something I can do, I’ll do it.”
Adrian Niven
With a watery smile, Adrian squeezes back. "There's nothing to be done. We don't get to pick our parents. You think I'd be used to it by now but some people know all the buttons to push. I don't think she even realizes she's doing it." He huffs out a bitter laugh. "Not sure if that makes it better or worse."
Danny Hernández
Danny’s thumb brushes once over Adrian’s knuckles. “Doesn’t make it hurt less just because she doesn’t mean to do it.”
He keeps his voice low. “And being used to somebody hurting you isn’t the same as being okay with it.” His eyes stay on Adrian. “You don’t have to defend her to me, baby.”
Adrian Niven
"No, no, I'm not, it sucks and I know it sucks." Adrian draws in a shaky breath, lets it out slowly. "There's always these little jabs, like I was telling her what we made for dinner and her comment was that it seemed like a lot of food and especially a lot of carbs and then she said she was worried I was gaining weight while I was here, and I just..."
His free hand comes up to his mouth for a minute and he's frozen there, regaining his composure for longer than he wants to be. "And if I say anything about it, she just turns it around like I'm being ungrateful that she's looking out for me."
His head is bowed, but he glances up at Danny. "It's always been like this."
Danny Hernández
Danny's expression hardens.
He gives his hand another squeeze. “That’s not fair.” His eyes stay on Adrian. “I don’t care how long she’s been doing it. You don’t deserve to spend every meal wondering what somebody’s gonna say about your body.”
Danny shifts a little closer. “You eat what you want in this house, baby. Nobody here is keeping score.”
Adrian Niven
Adrian looks down again, swallows hard. "I've gained six pounds, Daniel. She's not wrong."
Danny Hernández
For a second, Danny doesn’t have anything.
There isn’t a sentence big enough to undo years of somebody teaching Adrian that six pounds means he’s failed at something.
He keeps hold of Adrian’s hand. “Six pounds isn’t the problem here.”
His brow furrows. “You’re eating. You’re sleeping better. You’re not living on coffee, whatever you can grab between shoots, or whatever high can keep you upright the longest..” He gives Adrian’s hand another squeeze. “If your body changes a little because you’re actually taking care of yourself, then it changes.”
Danny looks at him. “That doesn’t give her the right to make you feel bad about it.”
Adrian Niven
His laugh is choked up. "I feel bad about it on my own already. You're right, I don't need the help from her."
The look he gives Danny is small, helpless, lost. This has been Adrian's entire life. He's not sure how else to live. The voices are in his head now and have been for a long time.
"You think I should start running with Sherrinford or something?"
Danny Hernández
Danny frowns but leaves that part alone.
“You can do whatever you want to, baby. If you wanna run with Sherrinford, run with Sherrinford. Sterling works out too, and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind the company.”
He leans back a little, giving Adrian room.
Adrian Niven
Adrian sighs. "I don't want to go running. I hate running. Can you see me running in this heat?" He leans back in his chair, looks up at the ceiling.
"I guess dying would be one way to lose weight."
Danny Hernández
“Not even funny, Adrian,” Danny says, firmer now.
“Join a gym here if you want. You don’t have to go running in this heat.” He settles back into his seat. “We’re not so small town that we don’t have a gym.”
Adrian Niven
He flinches, reaches out to take Danny's hand, kisses the knuckles. "I was just joking about the heat. I don't know how Sherrinford does it."
Keeping ahold of Danny's hand, he scoots his chair closer. "That's a good idea, thanks, babe. Is there one you've used before and liked?"
Danny Hernández
Another shift. Danny leans down and presses a kiss to Adrian’s hand.
“How about I talk to Sterling for you? He eats more than all of us put together, and look at him.”
His brows pull together as he reaches up, brushing his thumb over Adrian’s cheek. Adrian seems different right now, enough that Danny doesn’t quite know what to make of it.
“Would that help?”
Adrian Niven
"I don't know." Adrian shrugs, feeling defeated and drained by the whole conversation. His mother always does this and now it's coming between him and Danny and he's not sure whether to cry or rage. Maybe both. "He's jacked for sure."
He presses his lips together for a moment, pausing, then continues, eyes searching Danny's face. "Just don't tell him everything, okay?"
Danny Hernández
The words are right there, but Danny keeps them to himself. How can he tell Sterling everything when Danny knows there’s still so much Adrian hasn’t told him?
He doesn’t say it.
Danny just nods. “I promise.”