Zero

“There’s nothing we need to sort out, Ada…”

Five days in this hell had taken their toll even on Leon. Maybe ten years ago he would have laughed it off, ignored the exhaustion, and convinced himself that things weren’t half as bad as they seemed, but now he was old enough to stop lying to his body. A shadow of stubble had long since settled over his chin and cheeks, his blond hair fell in disarray across his forehead and looked noticeably darker than usual, weighed down by moisture, dirt, and the remnants of several sleepless nights. His clothes were in no better condition. The once black jacket was covered in dirt, plant debris, and dried blood, torn open in several places. Even his gloves had nearly given upt, the material was frayed at the fingertips and already torn at a seam. Far heavier, however, was the fatigue that had settled into his features. It lay in his gaze, in the way his shoulders slumped, and in that underlying irritability that always made itself felt whenever he was left to his own devices for too long. Five days without proper sleep, five days in a facility that challenged him more with every passing hour, five damn fucking days full of strange radio messages, faulty maps, empty buildings, and paths that seemed to lead nowhere. At some point, he had stopped counting how many times he’d asked himself whether he was actually still following the right path or merely trusting a voice that might never have existed.

He should have been back home long ago, taking a shower, sleeping, drinking a whiskey, and telling himself that he was slowly getting too old for this shit. Instead, he had been wandering for five damn days through a research park that seemed to keep changing, like a damn maze. Originally, the D.S.O. had given him a mission that was as simple as could be. A scientist had disappeared, along with sensitive research data and a handful of prototypes that were supposedly never supposed to have left the testing phase. The man’s name was Johannes Voss, and according to the files, he was hiding somewhere on this grounds. They had explained to Leon that Voss had become paranoid, bypassed some security measures, and then cut off all communication bla bla blaah. 

As always, it sounded simple,  he was to find the scientist, preferably alive, and take a closer look at the location that had already been erased from the official world map. It was all routine, and Leon was now prepared for anything, he knew that missions always went differently than planned… and he was also used to the fact that information and details didn’t mean this would be a harmless stroll… Instead, the maps he received were usually wrong, the paths no longer passable or blocked... Body and mind had to work together, he had to rely on his concentration, on his strategic and analytical thinking, and on top of that, he was dealing with yet another form of mutated enemies, reptilian, mixed with plant-like growths, they were different from those damned tree guys in Umbrella’s nest back then. These creatures were poisonous, smarter, more agile, faster, and when you killed them, they released spores that clung to your lungs like tar and thickened your blood.

Leon had felt several times that this mission would finally spell his end. Finally? Yes... finally, because at that moment he found himself in a state he couldn’t quite make sense of himself. It wasn’t even hopelessness, rather, it felt as though he had muted all his thoughts, as if everything inside him that still had a voice were slowly falling silent. The days blurred into one another, victories felt meaningless, and even survival no longer held the value it once had, unless he had to save innocents, which he sometimes succeeded at… but at which he also sometimes failed. He used to fight to save everyone,  then it became his duty to save certain people, names the governments sent him and individuals who needed to be freed. Today, he fought simply because he was used to it and because it distracted him. He functioned only like a machine, like a clockwork mechanism that was kept running not with oil but with occasional binges of alcohol. At some point, one wondered if there was anything left that could even be called life. Most people thought heroes had a strong will, a special resilience, but Leon was simply carrying on at the moment because he had grown accustomed to these wars and to the pain of knowing that he would never truly arrive somewhere. Even now, after these days in this biotope, it didn’t even surprise him anymore that he was still alive... perhaps it surprised him even more that he didn’t care. 

The radio was probably also one of the reasons why he was slowly beginning to doubt his own sanity. He’d had that damn thing since Raccoon City, and although it should have fallen apart long ago, it still worked. The casing was damaged, the antenna had been replaced several times, and more than once Leon had patched it up just to lug it along on the next mission. The strange thing, however, always began when the device was powered up. A voice would speak up, probably male. Sometimes it sounded completely natural, calm, and controlled, as if someone were standing right next to him, other times, it sounded distorted and mechanical, as if it had to fight its way through countless frequencies just to become audible at all. The voice never introduced itself, answered no questions, and usually vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. Yet it knew things it couldn’t possibly know. More than once it had warned him of dangers before they even occurred, and during this mission it had guided him through this damned labyrinth like an invisible shadow. A few hours ago, the battery had finally died, since then, silence had reigned. And although Leon had never really trusted this phenomenon, this very silence felt uncomfortable, because this radio had become something of an anchor for him, even though he found it hard to admit it to himself.

It was as if he were communicating with old friends from the afterlife, as if a supernatural hand were on his shoulder helping him to become even better and avoid falling into every trap. Somewhere deep inside, he was telling himself exactly that kind of nonsense, even though his rational mind was working against it, it was that very mind that advised him day after day to destroy this thing, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He had found the scientist, he was dead,  he had secured the information, he had left behind a green, toxic, stinking bloodbath.. and now he just had to find a way to leave this place. That, too, was routine… and what had since become a bitter habit was that he kept running into Ada Wong more and more often, and so far it had always ended the same way. She got what she wanted, toyed with his feelings, those that had developed in the hopeful bubble of a then 21 year old and were constantly triggered by her supposed death. So for six years, he’d assumed Ada was dead because he couldn’t save her..  an experience like that was formative when you foolishly fell head over heels in the midst of utter, traumatic chaos.

Ada looked as if she had just arrived. The dark fabric of her tight-fitting turtleneck hugged her figure and disappeared beneath a fitted black coat,  which moved slightly in the wind. The black leather gloves covered her hands, and the high boots were surprisingly clean for someone who had supposedly gone through the same hell as he had. Her dark hair fell loosely over her shoulders, and even the humidity of the facility seemed to have no effect on her appearance. It was truly ridiculous... Leon had always wondered before how she could walk in those shoes, how she managed to always look unnaturally good, while he, on the other hand, looked like someone who had been wrestling with death for years.

The Merchant studied him silently for a few seconds,  on his last mission, she’d taken the Amber, which contained a powerful parasite with her,  originally, her assignment was to pass the item on to Albert Wesker, but Leon didn’t know if she’d done it… she’d used Luis first, then him… and in the end, she’d gotten what she wanted once again.. end of story. 

“No?”

She finally asked in response to Leon’s words that there was nothing to clarify.

“You look like you’ve been chewed up by a lawnmower, Leon... and yet there’s nothing to clarify?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head slightly to the side.

“No questions about why I’m here?”

Her gaze briefly swept over the radio on his belt.

“Or why you ended up right here?”

The smile didn’t fade, but something in her eyes changed. Ada had never been particularly easy to read, but after all these years, Leon had learned to recognize the subtle differences. She didn’t seem surprised to see him, she had known he was coming, and maybe even when.

“You’ve always been bad at being curious when it comes to the wrong things..and frighteningly good at dodging the really important questions.”

The young woman stepped closer slowly, so close that Leon could smell her perfume, the very scent that only Ada wore, something that had burned itself into his memory and, at that moment, even almost made him feel sick. 

“Usually you have more questions...maybe you’re actually getting old...Aathough… I have to admit, the scruffy look suits you. A little less polished than before.”

By now she was getting too close to him, and yet Leon didn’t move, even though he knew it would be better to avoid her immediately, maybe it would even be best to kill her on the spot. 

“...if there’s really nothing to clarify, then why are you looking at me as if you’re trying to figure out if I’m real? You do that every time, by the way, Leon.”

Her words left a bitter taste in his mouth, almost as if the disgust were now mingling with his stomach juice, her flirtations weren’t working this time, and yet he stood motionless, as if she could control him remotely like a robot. 

“You should spend less time judging my appearance and get to the point. We both know that’s not why you’re here. I’m trying to figure out if you’ll show up before or after the betrayal this time… and don’t worry, I know by now that you’re the real deal.”

Leon shifted his weight to the other leg and ran his fingers through his dirty hair.

“So… what do you want this time?”

Ada stopped in her tracks, she might have looked a tiny bit surprised for a moment, but the usual eye-rolling didn’t happen.

“Oh, Leon… charming as ever… I don’t think betrayal is on my schedule today. To be honest, you look way too terrible for that. Let me guess: you found Voss, you secured the data, killed thirty to forty of those creatures, qnd now you’re trying to figure out once again why someone like you is even still being sent on missions like this. By the way, you should stop lugging that radio around.. it makes you easier to track.”

Only then did she turn her back on him. And that’s exactly why Leon couldn’t see her face as the next words left her mouth.

“The more important question, however, isn’t what I want. The more important question is why the voice wanted you to come here.”

This time, her smile vanished completely. Her job was to get the radio into her possession, she would get a lot.. a great deal of money for it, and of course she had been eavesdropping on Leon, of course she had an inkling of what it all meant, but otherwise she didn’t care about the consequences, she had a job to do, and she didn’t care who got hurt in the process, as always. But her plan changed in that very moment. Leon didn’t ask any questions., he didn’t try to find out who she was working for... he didn’t even try to find out why she was here. In the past, he would have argued with her, tried to convince her to do the right thing. Maybe he would even have fought her, but instead he just stood there and didn’t even protect the precious radio, she could grab it at any moment, knock him out, and make a run for it.

“So you really have no idea, do you? Leon… how long have you had this thing now?”

When she turned back to him, Leon followed her gaze to the radio on his belt. 

“Probably longer than I should have. Back then, it was just some random radio, and that’s all it is. But now I’m not quite sure what it means anymore…” 

Slowly, he unfastened the device from his belt and turned it between his fingers.

“At first I thought someone was playing a prank..then I thought someone was watching me. After that, I stopped thinking about it. So you’re here because of this old thing… at least that makes the whole thing more real… you don’t care about Voss or the stuff that’s been going on here, someone who buys you pretty new clothes, jewelry, and makeup, apparently has an interest in it, don’t they?”

His gaze turned icy as he tossed the device at her, by now he could endure the heartache, and freeing himself of it might not be a bad thing. In doing so, he put an end to a suffering within himself on two levels... at least, that’s how it felt in that moment. The radio flew through the air and Ada caught it almost automatically. Normally she would have felt a small sense of triumph, but this time that feeling was absent. Her fingers closed around the old casing and she looked down at it. It was just an object, and yet in that moment she understood something that was far more unpleasant to her than anything she had discovered about this radio in the last few days. Leon hadn’t lost to her, he’d let her win. Slowly, she looked up and studied the man in front of her. In the past, she would have seen anger in his eyes, frustration, and wounded pride. Something she could have clung to, something that would have proven that this game between them still existed. But there was nothing… not even disappointment. How many times had she lied to him? How many times had she used him? How many times had she disappeared without giving an explanation? Ada had stopped counting at some point. She’d assumed that Leon would eventually get used to it, that he’d eventually learn who she was. And now she was facing the result, and she didn’t like it. For the first time in years, she had the feeling that she couldn’t outsmart him. All the little flirts, the ambiguous remarks, the tension that existed between them.. suddenly it all seemed absurd, even childish. 

“You’re tired, Leon...”

She turned around again and placed the radio on a table overgrown with roots. In the distance, the rotor blades of a helicopter could be heard cutting through the air, they were searching for him, they wanted to pick him up, and those were always the moments when Ada decided to leave, and this time she decided not to finish her mission, not even close. Wesker wouldn’t be happy about it, she hadn’t delivered the amber to him as agreed back then either… but Wong had a certain sense of honor that was being trampled on at that very moment. Slowly, she turned back to Leon, for the first time in a long while, Ada didn’t know what to say, until there was only a small distance between them. Her gaze slid over his face, lingered on the dark shadows beneath his eyes, and she wondered involuntarily exactly when the young man had disappeared from Raccoon City. Then she leaned forward and her lips brushed the corner of his mouth. As she pulled back, her gaze lingered on him for a few more seconds.

“Don’t try to die, Kennedy.”

She disappeared among the overgrown paths and ancient greenhouses. Leon hadn’t left the spot where he’d been standing the whole time, he still wasn’t moving. Only when he heard voices calling for him did he snap out of his trance, grab the radio, fight his way through the ever-growing roots one last time, and climb into the helicopter that would take him home… or into the greedy maw of a new mission.