How To Make Plans | Step 1: Share the Salt | Stranger Things 4.5

Robin Buckley's sing-songy voice echoed through the house as she barreled in. The smell of stew with chicken and postatoes hit her first, immediately making her mouth water.

"Steeeve... Why are you cooking?" she chanted, kicking off her shoes and tossing her keys on the counter. She skated through the hallway towards the kitchen, where the clatter of utensils and the occasional cabinet slam signaled some frantic acitivity.

"We're about to meet at the Squawk in like an hour and you're the one who asked for it, so I don't understand why— Oh!"

Robin stumbled to a stop, gripping the doorframe of the kitchen, staring. Because the figure stirring the pot like some domestic deity was not her friend Steve.

Billy Hargrove spun on his heels, a cooking spoon in one hand, oven mitts in the other, staring at her like a dear caught in headlights. None of them said a word. Just stood still. Frozen. Hot liquid dripped from the spoon onto his hand.

"Billy!" Robin breathed, mouth agape, eyes as big as dinner plates. Billy raised an eyebrow, trying desperately not to look as dumbfounded as he felt.

"What are you doing?!" Robin barked. 
"Uhh... Making chicken broth?" Billy answered awkwardly. His face said 'what kind of dumb question is that?' But his stomach said 'shit shit shit shit shit—'

Robin grimaced. "No, I mean... What are you doing... here?"

Not helpful. Billy glanced aside, then at the simmering pot, then back at her. Squinting.

"... I don't understand the question."

Robin exhaled sharply. "Okay, I'm just gonna... spell it out for you," Robin continued. "You are usually not here... You, uh... You were in a coma until those gates— I mean until that earthquake thing, and now you're... here? In Steve's house? On your own?"

Billy frowned again, confusion mirrored on his face.

"Hasn't Steve told you at this point? Or Dustin?"
"Told me what?"
"That I... that he lets me live here, kind of. Just until I can work and afford my own place."
"Since when...? Okay, hold on... When—"
"Few weeks ago."
"WEEKS?!"

Billy flinched at her shrill voice. He'd known something like this would happen eventually, but not now. Not before they'd both been prepared. He rolled his eyes, sighed again, and set the pot on a trivet, spilling some broth in his nervous haste.

Buckley hadn't even told anyone that she would come to the meeting, so what was she doing here? Did she have keys to Steve's house, too?

"Listen, I'd asked him not to tell anyone until today," Billy lied smoothly. That conversation had never happened. But he was tired of Steve being grilled over the same shit all the time. First Hopper and Dustin, and now Robin? No thanks. He didn't care if Steve was going to be pissed about it later.

"Fine, but... I'm kind of his best friend, so—"
"Oh, are you?"

The words slipped out sharper than intended. Billy cursed under his breath, scratching his head, focusing on the bland soup instead of her dumbstruck expression.

"Sorry— Honestly, it's my fault, okay? Don't be an ass to him about it."

Silence. Brief, but heavy. 

"Where is he, anyway?" Robin asked, voice flat.
"Backyard. Seriously, if you have something to say, say it to me."

Robin chuckled nervously. "I'd really rather not. So I'm just gonna..." 

She pointed to the doorframe with her thumbs, still grimacing with discomfort.

Billy shook his head. "Whatever."

She was already gone, racing through the house toward the back exit, shoes abandoned in her excitement... and possible outrage. Outside, she spotted Steve fumbling with the pool cover and sprinted to him, throwing them into a hug so powerful she nearly knocked them both into the still pretty cold water.

"Steve! Holy shit, it's been way too long!"

She pulled back, cupping his face and searching his eyes. 

"What the—"

She froze upon the sight of his bruised face and the deepest frown etched into her expression. 

"Are you okay?! What are those bruises? What happened? Do you have a fever?" Robin slapped her palm onto his forehead.

"And most importantly," she added frantically,  "are you going to tell me why none other than Billy Hargrove is making chicken broth in your kitchen?!"

Suddenly he sensed someone approaching, he turned slowly, and before he knew it, Robin was in his arms, pressing him tightly against her, almost euphorically. Damn… what was she doing here? Weren’t they supposed to meet somewhere else? Had he missed something? Had he accidentally given out the wrong information? Were they too late? He staggered slightly backward until he steadied himself and held Robin tight so neither of them ended up in the pool, then he let the moment sink in, cleared his throat, and smiled, confused.

“I’m okay. Everything’s fine, don’t worry, Rocks.”

He gently took hold of her wrists and created a little distance between them.

“I just opened my mouth too wide again in front of a couple of military types. Maybe I’ve lost a bit too much of my fear and respect since the Russians.”

And then came the question, the one that was only logical, and his stomach clenched automatically. He couldn’t go through this again, not with Robin too, but he had no choice… she deserved to know the truth. He lowered his gaze and took a deep breath.

“I saw him at Max’s bedside in the hospital, at first I wanted to leave… not expose myself to that shit, I didn’t know he was already awake. After a few typical verbal fights… however, a different side of Billy revealed itself to me. I saw how Max’s vital signs reacted to him… to us, and all of a sudden, so much made sense. He was alone, he had no one, he was broken, weak, and desperate... he was racked with guilt, he realized what had happened to him, what he’d been used for... and for the first time, I could understand what Max meant when she tried to put all of Billy’s terrible deeds, even the ones he’d done to her, into perspective. She loves her brother, Robin, because she knows his other sides too, and she knew why he was that way... why he hated everything and everyone, why he rebelled, why he tormented others. And Billy knows what he’s done... he knows it. Every one of us makes mistakes... I’m living proof of that, in a way. I wanted to give him a chance to help us save Max... to fight alongside us against Vecna. He has a deep connection with Eleven.. she, too, has seen his innermost self, his true self. He deserves a second chance.”

Then he grew a little quieter.

“He deserves to be able to hope again that everything will be okay. And I’ve learned to appreciate him, to like him.”

Then even quieter.

“And maybe even more than that. I had to process all of this myself first, and I don't think I'm quite done yet, so I couldn't talk to anyone about it.. not even you... or Dustin, since he's going through so much himself right now. You know… about Tammy… I think I get it. There was… someone. Whenever he walked into the room, everything shifted. Everyone looked at him… but I… I didn’t even realize I was watching him the whole time. The way he walked… as if everything belonged to him. And I told myself I just found him annoying, I wanted to hate him, because he was hurting everybody.. and me. But I wasn’t annoyed... I was obsessed with him… but not for the reason everyone would think. Billy. I didn’t want to be like him… I wanted him to see me.”

He didn't know why he was sneaking to the other end of the house like that. He also didn't know why he slowly — carefully — shoved the curtain from one of the back windows to peak through the glass. But he knew why the sight of Robin and Steve holding hands made his heart jump, but not in a good way. And the way Steve looked at her while he spoke... So fond and warm...

Billy clenched his jaw, lips pressed together almost defiantly as he strutted back into the kitchen. Stupid... stupid! You goddamn moron, he thought, immediately regretting that dumbass move and wishing he could forget it with a snap of his fingers.

He's not yours. Don't even begin to think that he is just because of that deal you made.

Robin slipped her wrist out of Steve's gentle, guiding grip to hold his hands instead. She didn't really think about it. They hadn't seen each other in a couple of weeks and she'd missed her friend, and her touch was more natural than it was suggestive. 

Platonic. With a capital P. 

She frowned at first, shaking her head at him when he mentioned those soldiers.

"You picked a fight with soldiers? Jesus..."

Robin scoffed a bit, lacing it more with worry than anything else. A fond smile curled her lips, then. 

"That sounds like the Steve I know, actually."

Robin didn't push. Just waited. Trusted that he'd tell her whatever he was ready for in his own time. She usually wasn't the greatest listener. Tended to interrupt people, blurt out her own thoughts without noticing her impulsivity. But this time, Robin remained quiet, looked up at her best friend, and paid attention to every word he said. Perhaps it was surprise that shut her up, but eventually... she just softened completely. 

The bruises on Steve's face seemed to inhance his fond expression while he talked about Billy, almost like some kind of fucked up make-up. Robin began to wonder if he'd picked a fight with those guys for Billy's sake. Knowing him, it was definitely something he would do for someone he cared about.

"Oh Steve..." she whispered, frowned deeply, but still smiled with so much warmth that it made up for the still lingering cold of this spring's afternoon. Robin forgot about her freezing, shoeless feet. 

"Am I hearing things or are you finally forgetting about Nancy...?" she said softly, smiling wider. It was more rhetorical than an actual question she expected an answer for. It was pride, in a way. Robin was proud of him for moving on from something that hurt him, kept him down. Proud that he was finally coming to terms with that side of him she'd always known to be there, somewhere. Just like she had after years of fighting her own feelings.

Sure, he was talking about Billy Hargrove here, but... So what?! Robin barely knew him, had never shared any classes with him because she was a year younger. She'd heard that Billy was kind of an asshole, but so was Steve, and he turned out fine. During lunch breaks, she had only ever seen Billy pick a fight with Jason Carver once. And wasn't there some drama going on with Tommy H, too?

Right, okay... Maybe she wasn't being very kind to Billy a minute ago, but it was more confusion rather than actual appallment, seasoned with a little bit of outrage about Steve not having told her anything about it. But he was making up for that right now.

Last July when her whole life changed, she'd seen that huge meat monster in the mall, how Billy carried out its deeds. But she had also witnessed him protect El when it mattered most. How devastated Max had been when he nearly died in her arms. The possession, the loss of control, it all made perfect sense to her. He hadn't been himself. Picked by Vecna like all the others. So why question it?

Because right now, Robin also witnessed that her best friend seemed to be falling in love with that guy. And she wanted nothing more than for him to be happy.

"I understand, it's okay. I'm not mad. I was just... surprised," she reassured him, smile everlasting. "So... Are you two, like... a thing now, or...?"

She bit her lip and pinched him gently in the sides, teasing him. She was so giddy with excitement for him, it was almost stupid.

He joked with a smirk, because it had actually become something of a routine for him. At least once a year, he’d take a solid punch to the face and end up looking like a walking monument. Robin already knew him pretty well; these two, too, had been through a lot together and gotten to know each other. What he particularly appreciated about her was that she was very direct and very honest. She wasn’t clumsily compassionate; she didn’t open her heart to just anyone, and she told people pretty much straight to their faces what she thought, regardless of whether people then found her strange. She knew her manner often rubbed people the wrong way, but Steve always tried to encourage her, just as she did with him. Either she teased him… or she was, as she was right then, compassionate… understanding.

“Well, I had to get out of that Nancy bubble at some point, didn’t I? She’s… Jonathan’s thing now, and I think I need to let go. She’s strong, she knows what she wants… and I’m slowly figuring that out too.”

He replied, smiling slightly, though he avoided eye contact for the moment.

“Hey, Rocks… one thing at a time. I’m into him… and there’s something between us, but there’s still a lot that’s… um… holding me back a little. I don’t know, maybe him too? We’re in the middle of an apocalypse here.. how can a romantic relationship develop without it seeming like hypocrisy? People are suffering… dying all around us. I… I… I don’t know if we deserve something like that, you know what I mean? But… let’s wait and see. I just know that I trust him, and I know he wants to help us and that he will. He’s on our side, and he’s definitely not the asshole he used to be. It’ll take time for everyone else to see that too… but everyone deserves a chance.”

He gave Robin a light tap on the shoulder, followed by a brief hug.

“And now come on, freak, let’s hatch a plan to seize world domination!”

He chirped and slowly walked back into the house with Robin.

“Hargrove, shall we fill our bellies so we’re ready to head out?”

A quick glance at Robin.

“Would you like some too… Billy makes excellent soups; they’re better than mine!”

"Gosh... I should've reached out to you more, it's just... Everything was so busy with the radio station and all the bureaucratic stuff for the launch and stuff, so I just... I should've... I'm so sorry, Steve..." 

She wanted to know everything she'd missed. Every little bit of it. All the details. The impatiece was gnawing at her, but she told herself that Steve was probably going to unpack everything once the three of them arrived at the Squawk and met with the others.  

"I mean, Nancy is great. She's so brave and powerful and she doesn't take any bullshit, but... sometimes it scares me how confident she is. It's kind of intimidating, really, and... well... I think you need someone who's less afraid of shedding their layers, y'know? At least when they're around you."

There was so much relief in the way she smiled for him. Her best friend was finally starting to figure himself out. It was like watching a baby take real steps for the first time, except that Steve wasn't a baby anymore. He was a grown man, getting ready to see his place in the world. Even if most of the world wasn't available to them right now... because of the lockdown and everything.

Rocks hugged him back, making sure to make it really tight again. "I think we have a lot to unpack with that 'we don't deserve something like that' and 'it's not the right time' kind of stuff, but we'll talk all about that later, deal? I gotta knock into your head that you deserve to be happy, Dingus."

She followed him inside, a laugh crossing her lips.

Two bowls of steaming soup waited on the kitchen counter, each with a large spoon resting inside. They were nearly identical, except one was filled a little higher and topped with extra vegetables: Onions and tomatoes, the kind Billy had to avoid on his bland diet. That one had to be for Steve.

The other looked noticeably plainer. Just chicken, broth, a few carrots, and a couple of green beans. It had been set in Billy’s usual spot at the counter.

There was no third bowl ready. Not even a third spoon. It seemed very deliberate. Intentional.

"Sure, go ahead. We have to hurry a little bit, though," Billy said nonchalantly as the two friends came in. Without sparing them a glance, he took his seat and started eating, silent. He did not react to Steve's compliment about his cooking at all.

Robin bit her lip, fingers fidgeting, frowning. "Is it... Is it really okay if I take some? It's just— I totally forgot to eat earlier and I'm totally starving. Like— Can you hear my stomach growling?"

Silence. Awkward, uncomfortable silence, filled by the brief sound of an empty, begging stomach. Robin chuckled softly, drowning it in insecurity.

"I—It smells so good and... I don't want to claim all the rest since you didn't plan for me, but maybe—"

"Maybe what?" Billy mumbled, chewing on a piece of chicken breast as he watched her suffer through her question. He knew perfectly well what she wanted to ask, but let the silence stretch anyway, one eyebrow arching in quiet expectation. 

Steve had already offered her to have some. But somehow, Robin's rambling and Billy's closed-off demeanor were not mixing very well.

"Maybe I could... cook for you two in return sometime! I would really appreciate it... Look, I—I really don't want to take advantage of you, it's just— See, my mom keeps telling me how I'm super bad at planning ahead, so—"

Billy stared. Swallowed. Robin just cringed. 

"If you've got keys to the house, you know where the bowls are," he grumbled before returning his attention to his meal. 

It wasn't a no, but it wasn't very welcoming either. Robin bit her lip again, looked at Steve with a gaze that begged him for help, and then just dragged her feet over to the cabinets. A minute later, she sat down next to Steve, her bowl only half-full. 

Well... This was going to be a wild ride, wasn't it?

Steve explained, not missing the chance to poke a little fun at the whole thing as usual.

“Rocks… if we start going down that road, then I’d have to apologize too, because I’ve been a damn lousy assistant lately; I left you to deal with all this on your own, and I haven’t been in touch either. Really, there’s no reason for you to take all this on yourself… I’m fine, really.”

He assured her truthfully.

“Yes yep.. Nancy is great… that’s exactly what fascinated me about her back then. That strength of will and intelligence. But she has a mind of her own and different ideas; I think I was still too young and too blind to understand that back then. I don’t hold a grudge against her… we need her, and that’s a fact.”

When they arrived in the kitchen together, the dynamic had noticeably shifted, and Steve was surprised that Billy was suddenly so harsh… so dismissive, maybe even a little hostile toward Robin. Two plates were set out, and Billy had prepared the meal just as they were both used to, just as they were already in sync, but Robin seemed somehow… unwelcome? Was this the old Billy, the one who didn’t want to let new and unfamiliar people into his life so quickly? But… with Hopper and the others, he’d managed to pull himself together a little.

The exchange that followed only confused Steve even more, but Robin was quicker to the cupboard to grab a bowl and serve herself some soup; otherwise, he would have done so. He motioned for her to sit down at the table as well, took a seat himself, and began to eat. As he savored the soup, he thought things over. He didn’t want to put either Robin or Billy in an even more awkward situation or single either of them out, so he chose a different approach.

“Somehow it’s a relief that now someone knows I’m into men.”

He began to speak out of the blue.

“I think it’s still too early here… to say something… that doesn’t just concern me alone… but… I’m somehow relieved to have gotten it off my chest.”

His gaze rested on Billy, then shifted to Robin.

“I’m glad to have both of you… Robin as my second brain… and Billy as someone who probably already means far too much to me in such a short time. I know we’ll work as a team… I just know it.”

He ungracefully finished the rest of his soup from the plate, then stood up and looked directly at both of them again.

“I know by now that not everyone gets along with someone right away… but again, you both matter to me.”

He leaned his forearms on the table between them, now very close to them.

“Is it just me… or is the air in here so thick you could almost cut it?”

If Billy were to try to make a run for it now, Steve placed his foot in front of the chair leg; not everything had to be sorted out immediately, but this strange atmosphere had to be broken somehow.

Robin's discomfort and anxiety was like a balloon. The pressure would build and build and build until it was too much, and the only thing that helped was letting go of the balloon's opening to let all the air out in an uncontrollable ramble. The balloon would fly around, knock some things over, maybe slap someone's face, until there was no air left to fuel its chaotic odissey. 

It could be worse. The balloon could burst on Billy's spiked collar. Thankfully, it didn't, as Steve's words guided the balloon away from anyone's face. Specifically Billy's. 

His spoon made an audible clang as it dropped against the bowl. Billy choked on his soup and coughed his lungs out. God damnit.

"What the hell are you—" 

His voice gave out as his violently itching throat forced him into another coughing fit. He had no choice but to let him talk while he tried to make it stop and not die.

Meanwhile, Robin was completely caught off guard. She stared between them, her hues wide in surprise and confusion. Before she could say anything, Steve locked eyes with her. She only gawped at him like an idiot, jaw dropping, before she sighed deeply and dropped her face into her hands, shaking her head. Why was this so insufferably awkward?

Suddenly, she froze. Lowered her hands. Stared at Billy. Oh god. Oh no.

Holy shit. 

Was he jealous of her?!  Was she really that slow?

How many times would they have to clarify that there is no romance going on between her and Steve? Platonic! With a capital P! Unfortunately, not even that seemed to work most of the time. Friends could still become lovers, right?

Somehow, Billy couldn't bring himself to get up and have a glass of water despite his almost comical suffering. Instead, he froze still, staring up at Steve with raised eyebrows and a frown of defiance.

"That's... um..."

He cleared his throat.

"Nice. Mhm. Very nice, Harrington. Lovely. What's... wrong with the air? We're getting along just fine, what are you talking about? Why are you telling me— telling us all that? 'Cause I'm... pretty damn confused."

An uncomfortable smile played about his lips. Lies. He knew perfectly well what was going on. Why Steve felt the need to mention it at all. Sometimes, it was despicably exhausting how good he was at reading him like an open book.

Robin's stare constantly shifted between them. In the end, she heaved another deep sigh. There was no use, was there? Steve admitting that he also liked men was not going to erase the possibility of him and Robin ending up together. She didn't want to be in their way like that. She didn't want to ruin her best friend's happiness.

"Okay... alright... Steve... You trust him, right? Let's be real here. Are we talking 'trust him with your secrets' or 'trust him not to accidentally kill you''?"

Robin had a way of blurting out her thoughts without checking them first; A quirk that did not go unnoticed.

"Are you for real?" Billy threatened.
"I know how that sounds, hold on, hold on! Steve, do you trust him with your life or just your fries?"

Billy's face shifted into complete and utter bewilderment. Like she'd just told him that pink elephants lived on the sun. He tried to push his chair back, but found himself trapped by Steve's foot up against it.

"Seriously, I mean it," Rocks continued. "Is he 'hold your drink' trustworthy or 'hold your life' trustworthy? Is he your ride-or-die, or your 'respawn and try again'? Would you pick him for your squad in a boss fight? If things go totally super wrong — which, let's be honest, is not too far-fetched in this apocalyptic mess — is he your hero or your plot twist? You don't have to answer all that for real right now, and that's fine because he seems... pretty uncomfortable. No offense at all."

"Whatever you say, Buckley," Billy just mumbled under his breath, shaking his head and disassociating. Maybe this moment would end sooner if he pretended that he wasn't there.

"Just... Just tell me, Steve... if you really trust him that much," Robin added.

Something in her demeanor shifted. Her hands were folded, lips pressed together, sorrowful eyes squinting in contemplation. Robin had already been nervous, sure. But now, it was less fidgety and more serious, like all she wanted was a confirmation that she could trust Billy Hargrove as much as she trusted Steve Harrington. Her best friend. Her partner in crime.

These questions were not for him. They were for herself.

That was when Billy returned. His tense shoulders softened, and he finally gazed at Robin fully for the first time. There wasn't just confusion left in his expression anymore. In its long, deep shadow, there was also... worry. For what, he wasn't sure. Maybe for Steve. Maybe a little bit for himself. 

Or, maybe, his worry was for Robin.

He took a deep breath and rested his spoon on the edge of the bowl while he narrowed his eyes and watched Billy’s coughing fit, which distracted him and almost made him pat his back, like he would a small child… but he didn’t; he knew Billy didn’t need that, especially not with a stranger sitting at the table.

“Yea… I can see how wonderfully we all get along here. It’s lovely… I’d love to dance on the table with joy.”

He hissed quietly to himself, and yes… he recognized Billy’s lie, and that briefly gave him a slight pang of guilt, because Steve was talking about something he’d been trying to hide until now… and something they hadn’t fully sorted out between themselves yet. And even though he’d only been talking about his own feelings so far, about the fact that he was also into men, it felt like a mistake again for the split second. Like: Steve has managed to ruin everything again, thing.

Then Robin took the helm... very clumsily, and she went on for so long that Steve almost got seasick, and even he didn’t understand until the very end what she was trying to clarify in that moment. Again and again he opened his mouth... wanting to say something about the fries... about the other questions, but Robin kept talking.

“Now I’d like some fries...”

It tumbled out of him.

“And a burger...”

Billy was still confused too; it could escalate at any moment... but... it didn’t?

“Fuck... why do I feel like I constantly have to justify myself for everything and... why am I actually doing this?”

He muttered to himself, took a few deep breaths, and calmed down.

“I trust him with everything I have. I’ll share my fries, but I’d also stick my hands in hot frying oil for him. In a boss fight, I’d choose him as my partner… I’d stand in front of him, but I’d also trust him to take down the boss. I’d put the reins of my life in his hands… and he could ride me wherever he wants…”

He frowned briefly and cleared his throat.

“Uh… weird comparison… never mind. He’s my hero AND, in a surprising twist, my mentor… and I’m his. There are no clear, movie-specific rules here… it’s a partnership, not a side-by-side or an against-each-other.”

And finally, a clearer answer.

“Yes, pure trust, but not blind trust. And by the way, that goes for BOTH of you. That’s why it’s so important to me that we all eat these goddamn fries together… and that we hold each other’s drinks while we support, save, and help one another… patch things up together and can just be honest with each other. Was that clear enough?”

He wasn’t angry or extremely agitated; he was just trying to make a point. At that moment, he stood up, took the plates, dumped the leftovers, and began washing those plates by hand. A quiet burp followed, but he didn’t apologize for it.

“We have 20 minutes left to sort all this out, or we’ll postpone it to another time, after the meeting… but honestly, I’d prefer it if we showed up there with a cool mindset. Believe me, the others will sense it if we don’t get along, and then… that means it’ll just end up in more excuses without us making any progress with Vecna. I mean… he’s the enemy, isn’t he? Not you, Billy… not Robin, and not me either.”

Well... At least for the most part, as Steve's uttering of craving fries and a burger had him roll his eyes so hard it was a miracle they came back.

"Oh, I'm so sorry we only had stew this time," he snapped sarcastically, although his voice was low as if he couldn't fully commit to the poison. "Didn’t realize I was running a five-star diner. Already told you the burger place was out of food this week. Tried my best."

The second it left his mouth, he hated it. Not enough to fix his bitchy looking face, though. In truth, Billy knew it was never about his god damn soup. It wasn't even about him. Part of him hoped Steve would just ignore him at this point and let it slide.

Robin shot Steve a wide-eyed look, quickly cutting in when he expressed his frustration about having to explain himself.

"Wait, wait, okay, hold on— Steve, I didn't mean that anything's your fault and I swear I'm not questioning your trust for him. I just wanted to know if..."

She couldn't find enough strength in her voice to continue. Words, for once, failed her.

Steve’s didn’t. Not when he answered her questions with much more truth that she had expected. There was more behind it than that. Something quieter. Warmer… It sat in his voice like it belonged there.

Both of them felt it. Billy stilled without realizing it, the tension noticeably shifting while he listened to Steve's summary of unconditional trust and... even devotion. For a moment, he looked at him. Really looked.

His long lashes cast shadows over his eyes, but they couldn’t hide the way something in them just… melted. He knew these things already. Steve had told him that, shown it time and again. It still knocked him for six to hear it every time.

Robin put on a tight-lipped smile at the mention of 'Steve letting Billy ride him wherever he wanted'. She thought they weren't there yet? Or... was he just rambling without thinking first, like she tended to do herself? Yeah… no. She was not touching that. Not with a ten-foot pole. Too much information. She focused very hard on her soup instead, suddenly fascinated by a piece of chicken like it held the answers to the universe.

Then, she glanced at Billy. His eyebrows were tense, but somehow, underneath that harsh demeanor was a smirk hanging off the edge of his lips. Gentle. Soft. The kind of smirk you make when someone says something so wonderfully weird that your fondness for them grows.

He wiped his hand over his face in at attempt to scrub it away.

That was when Steve went on about helping each other through this apocalyptic Vecna-mess. Being honest, patching things up, making things work... He asked if that was clear enough, like the silly mother hen that he was.

"... Never questioned it," Billy replied, still pretending that he didn't fully understand what was going on. Like he wasn’t two seconds away from combusting for entirely different reasons. He shoved the last bits of his meal into his mouth before Steve took his bowl away.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Totally. Crystal clear," Robin mumbled around a bite, nodding way too eagerly.
"There's nothing to sort out, right?" Billy added pretentiously, shooting an expectant look at her. She caved despite herself.
"Yeah! Yep. Absolutely nothing. Everything's okay," she played along.

Steve's answer to her line of questioning was more than enough for her. She inhaled, sat up straighter, and tried again. This time, with purpose. With intention. She smiled and nodded, her heart fluttering with nervousness. The good kind.

"And Steve is so right! Let's not be... enemies. I mean, there's enough chaos going on. We have to stick together. Even if things get a bit awkward. Which it is. A lot. But that’s fine! Especially because... I'm not trying to be in your way, Billy," she rambled.

Billy stared at her. "What? What do you mean?"
"Okay, bad wording—" she rushed. "What I mean to say is... You obviously matter a lot to Steve. And I do, too. And that's... totally fine, because we can both be important to him, right? So there’s really no need for this whole—" she waved her hand between them, "… vibe."

Billy sighed, pinching the bridge of this nose.
"... Your point being?" he grumbled. His foot started bouncing again. It was exhausting to keep pretending.

"My— My point is, there's no need to compare us, because... Steve and I are not..."

She stopped. Glanced at Steve.
Billy arched his brows at her. "You're not what?"
His voice was harsh with dangerous impatience, like he was getting ready to counter whatever bullshit she was about to spout.

But instead of allowing it to make her insecure this time, Robin remained steady. She put both of her hands into loose fists and put them to her face, frowning, shutting her eyes...

And then just said it.

"I'm into women," Rocks confessed at last. She swallowed quickly. "Exclusively."

A beat. Billy lowered his hand from his face. His foot stopped bouncing. The tension in him slipped sideways into confusion.

"What?"
"You heard me. Your precious Harrington is safe from me."
"I never said—"
"Didn't have to."

Something in her had shifted. Lighter, like she’d just dropped a weight from her back.

The soup was still itching in his throat from having choked on it earlier. Billy breathed, his shoulders finally relaxing despite himself. He glanced at Steve. Then back at Robin.

"... Oh."

It came out quieter than intended. So… that was it. That's why she said something. Why she'd looked at him like she already knew. Once more, he glanced to Steve. Squinting. He’d told her. He’d had to, right? Did it make this — them — more real?

Robin let out a breath as well, her whole body softening.
"Wow. You were really intense about this," she said.
"Shut up."
"No, seriously. You were this close to flipping the table— Well... the counter."
"I wasn't," Billy denied.
"You were mentally flipping it."
"... Maybe."

That earned the smallest little twitch at the corner of his mouth. Robin caught it immediately.

"So!" she clapped her hands lightly. "We good? Crisis averted? Nobody’s fighting or stealing anyone’s boyfriend—"
"We're not—" Billy started.
"Great, perfect, moving on," she continued right over him. "Shall we get going or what? Oh, and... You're not gonna tell anyone, right? Y'know... The thing about—"

"Never," Billy cut in before she could even finish. "What do you take me for?"
"For someone who gets real bitchy real fast," she jested.
"Don't push it, Buckley."

Robin laughed anyway. Somehow, she knew it was okay. Those tiny wrinkles betraying a smirk on Billy's face was enough.

Billy got up and patted Steve's shoulder, like none of that had been weird at all. Like they hadn’t just had a whole discussion that never actually called the issue by its name. At least not completely. Not out loud.

"Let’s go. I’ll drive."

Robin trailed in after him, brushing past Steve with a smug grin. "If you need a matchmaker, let me know!" she whispered and winked.

It was all just beginning... but Steve now had so many reasons to fight... that it was making him mentally stronger and stronger. While Robin and Billy were having a rather awkward conversation, Steve watched the two of them silently for a while. He had said everything he could say; he had been as honest as possible... now the dust had to settle first and the essence of it all had to sink in for both of them. When Robin even came out to Billy, Steve blinked several times in surprise; she didn’t know him... he had been quite hostile toward her, and yet what Steve had revealed to her seemed to be enough to move her to share her biggest secret with him.

Steve’s mouth formed a small ‘o’ and for a moment he reached for her hand to squeeze it gently, silently expressing his praise, because it was brave.. very brave, and in a way, it was also an endorsement of what was just beginning to develop between the two men. What Harrington finally realized, however, was that this situation had arisen out of jealousy. Billy... had been jealous of Robin? Fascinating!

The awkward atmosphere subsided, and Steve had by now scrubbed the three plates at least ten times, dried them three times, only to start all over again. Did he like it when Billy was jealous? Was that a clear sign? Would he also become jealous and overreact? The pat on the shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts, and he cleared his throat quietly.

“Uh… yeah… cool… no problem…”

He strung together a few words to pretend he’d caught the last exchange between the two, but then he squared his shoulders, grabbed Billy by the hips, and fumbled the car keys out of his back pocket.

“Wrong… I’m driving. You’ve had your little dance with dominance; now it’s my turn again.”

He winked teasingly and pointed to the door.

“Getting married is so old-school… and if… then I’m all for a double wedding.”

He hummed to himself as he walked over to his car, quite relaxed and at ease, and sat down in the driver’s seat. Robin was used to sitting next to him, and Billy would probably claim that seat as well, so he watched the two of them with more than just amusement, but his best friend seemed to be giving up her seat willingly. Steve didn’t say anything, but he couldn’t hold back a broad grin anymore. He started the car and drove off… his driving style was fast but not reckless, and at some point he placed a hand on Billy’s thigh… just like that…

Being ignored felt like true understanding this time. Being seen. Being heard. More than ever before.

Maybe, he really was a complete narcissist like his father. Maybe he wasn't. He didn't know jackshit about stuff like that, so how would he know? But what Billy really knew, with all of his heart, was that the longer he stayed around Steve, the less he recognized his old man in himself. 

Steve grounded him. That man was his anchor. His lifeline. Dangerous, probably. It would bite him in the ass at some point. But until then, it would give him something he hadn't had in a long time. 

Peace.

Billy jolted a little when Steve's hand slid to his hips, fingers pressing in just enough to grab the car keys. Billy shot him a look, caught the wink, and immediately looked away again.

If anyone asked, he'd deny the blush on his face with his dying breath. Or... not. He'd already had one of those.

"Ugh... Fine!" he groaned instead. Playfully. 

At the car, his hand collided with Robin's as they both reached for the passanger door. They jerked back like they'd been shocked, staring at each other.

"Sorry, did you—"
"No, no! Habit," Robin rushed, waving it off. "Go ahead!"

Billy hesitated. Frowned sternly. "You get carsick in the back?"
"No," she said quickly. Too quickly. Still, she flashed him a grin. "I'm good. Don't worry."

Before Billy could press it, Robin already yanked the back door open and disappeared inside the car. Billy shrugged and claimed his seat next to Steve.

Had they not resolved the unnamed issue just seconds earlier, Billy might have made a thing out of it. Shot her a glare and not let go until she backed off. Now? Not worth it. Not anymore.

Unfortunately... the calm didn't last. The further they drove, the tighter something coiled in his chest. Leaning against the window and watching the world blur past, Billy started chewing his nails again.

He had no idea what was waiting for them when they got to the Squawk.

What were they going to do about Dr. Kay? Would Hopper be an asshole today? Did El get some sleep after last night's hassle? If Robin showed up unannounced, who else would follow? Lucas Sinclair? Yeah, that'd be fun. Real fun. Nothing like cracking open that particular can of worms in the middle of everything else...

Will Byers was coming. Would his mom come along? What about Nancy or Mike? Did their mom know about anything at all? 

And then the thought hit him like a punch to the ribs. He went still. Then rigid. Would Karen Wheeler be there? Oh god... Oh no. Not her. Absolutely not. He couldn't. He wasn't ready for that. Not now, not like this. That would be an absolute—

The spiral inside his head stilled. Billy blinked, looking down at the weight on his thigh. Steve's hand... Steady and deliberate, like it had always belonged there.

His breath caught, heart racing — but not for the same reason as before. He gazed at him for a moment, studying his features. The familiar line of his jaw. The quiet focus in his expression. And then, a small breath left Billy, almost a sigh, the ghost of a smile pulling at his mouth. Something in him just... calmed down.

Then, he looked out the window again, the world completely rushing past his comprehension. He brought his nails to his lips again, but wouldn't bite around on them this time.

Carefully, slowly... Billy slid his hand closer. Close enough that their pinkies brushed. The contact was barely there, a whisper of touch. But it hit him anyway. The feeling it ignited inside his chest was electric, settling somewhere deep inside his body. He shut his eyes for a moment, breathing through it.

God... He could live off of that. Those barely noticeable touches setting his heart on fire.

Slowly, he curled his pinky around Steve's. Softly at first. Tenderly. Then a little firmer. Not enough to lock them, but enough to feel it. Enough to say something without saying it. 

Thank you.
I'm yours, and I've got you.
You're mine, and you've got me. 
Even if neither of us knows what to call it yet. 

It was going to be alright, no matter what. As long as Steve was there.

In the backseat, Robin focused on her breathing, trying to keep her motion sickness at bay. When she shifted her gaze towards the windshield, she caught Steve's hand on Billy's thigh... and the way their pinkies were hooked together.

She grinned brightly, shook her head. Seriously. These two were ridiculous. Not even together, and already this soft about it.

AI GENERATED BY ME

Robin had revealed a confession she’d only shared with Steve until now.. that said a lot... it meant a lot. She wouldn’t have done it if she distrusted this connection too much, or Billy. Steve was exhausted… the last few days had been very, very draining, especially mentally. The rescue mission, the soldiers… an angry Hopper, Eleven outside the safe zone. Dustin… then Billy and his breakdown, and finally Steve’s own nervous breakdown, and now the precarious situation between Robin and Billy. And that wouldn’t be all... they were already on their way to meet the others, and it wasn’t even clear who would be coming.

Vecna and his cruel reign would become the topic of discussion, something people tended to forget amid all the other things happening on the side.. yet he... was what he had created, the biggest problem. Steve felt he needed an anchor right now as his car drew closer and closer to the meeting spot, and his anchor seemed to be Billy, whose presence, even if only the slightest.. was there. He looked ahead, feeling the warmth radiating from Billy’s thigh… and then he felt the cold fingers joining his own, very tentatively… and later more firmly. It was a little tricky to steer and shift gears with one hand... but for Steve, it wasn’t a problem; he wouldn’t let go of that hand until they reached their destination. When he finally parked the car, he pulled away from Billy, but gave him a gentle look. Then he turned to Robin, his cheeks flushing... because he saw that she had noticed what had happened between Billy and him. He smiled a bit awkwardly, a bit out of place, and shrugged.

“Eleven is Billy’s emotional anchor.”

He explained briefly, but then he had to tell her something else before they got out. With Billy’s help, he told her about the rescue mission… well, about… what had just happened, about his mistakes, about his reasons, about how he didn’t want Eleven to get dragged into it… but that Hopper had come with her anyway. About how Dustin had reacted, which briefly tore his heart apart all over again. Yes, he definitely blamed himself for everything; he was overthinking things a little too much again, but that was just Steve… he could express his true feelings about it here in this car. He left it to Billy to give a brief overview of what had happened in the lab…what Kay had done to him, he left it up to him to decide what he wanted to reveal and what might be important. Steve mentioned the plan Hopper had hinted at... and revealed his fears. An incredible amount of information was shared here in a short time, but he wanted Robin to be in the loop before she met the others, so she still had a little time to let it all sink in... because they were definitely the first ones there. With a sigh of relief, Steve stepped out, entered the small building, and first grabbed a beer from the fridge; he wordlessly handed another one to Robin, and Billy got a non-alcoholic one.

“Here’s to you! To this evening… and hopefully to some good ideas.”

Maybe she wouldn't walk through fire for Billy. Not yet. Not before she knew he'd would do the same for her. And honestly, he had no real reason to. But he'd do it for Steve, right?

But for now, there were more immediate things to focus on. The mission. The fact that she had just come out to someone who, hours ago, had been little more than a stranger... terrified her at first. It felt absurd. Reckless. But underneath that, there was also something else. Relief. Like a weiht she'd been carrying for years had finally shifted some more, just enough to let her breathe. Her steps towards personal freedom in this day and age were feeling easier, no more slowed down by legs made of lead. Robin had felt the same way after coming out to Steve last year, and something told her that whatever he and Billy had was the start of something good. 

Maybe it was just the way they hooked their pinkies like that. It was so cute, it actually made her sick. 

Okay, no no, that was definitely the motion sickness. Nevermind. Still, she caught herself grinning when Steve noticed her staring. 

In the passender seat, Billy felt his heartbeat settle the longer their fingers touched. There was still some pressure in his chest, worried about what was going to happen, what seeing these people again would be like. But now, it felt... manageable. Like he could face it without losing himself. Even after Steve let go, the warmth lingered against his skin, grounding him.

He met Steve's gaze for a moment, something quiet and unguarded passing between them, before he looked away again, a faint, almost embarrassed flush creeping into his cheeks. Christ... He loved that feeling. The thrill of the almost, yet the safety of it. The impossible, fragile certainty that someone was there — someone who cared, who saw something in him that no one else ever had. Not even Billy himself. 

Steve's comment about El being his emotional anchor eared a soft scoff, but he didn't comment on it.

Well... He wasn't completely wrong. El had been his anchor when worse had come to absolute worst. When Billy had been seconds away from handing her over to the monster, from becoming something unforgivable. She had been the one to reach him. She had seen straight through him, into the worst parts of him, and still chosen something other than fear for her life. Of course she had used that knowledge to stop him. To save herself, her friends. But she hadn't had to show him such compassion in that moment. Such kindness. She hadn't had to touch his cheek and look at him like he was still worth saving, like he hadn't hurt her so, so much.

She had anyway. 

That kid mattered to him. It was stupid. Dangerous. Easy to misunderstand. Billy already struggled with showing affection; with El, he was even more careful. Especially with Hopper anywhere nearby.

But an anchor? Still? 

No.

She could be, sure. When he was trapped in Kay's grasp and she reached for his conscious, absolutely. But she was also fifteen years old. 

Honestly, it was Steve. One hundred percent and without a doubt. Always. No question about it.

Billy quietly listened as Steve filled Robin in, occasionally adding a detail here or there. Whenever Steve started spiraling into guilt over something he'd done wrong the night before, Billy nudged him — cut him off with a sharp, quiet stop that, edged with something softer underneath. Robin noticed. Smiled to herself, even as the flood of information threatened to overwhelm her. The story about Dustin had her frown again.

Billy did not tell them that he'd spoken to the kid earlier.

When they finally got out of the car and into the building, he distracted himself by looking through the record shelves. None of the music was really his thing, but he couldn't stop a grin when a familiar cover caught his eye: Madonna, Material Girl. He quickly shoved it back into the shelf before anyone saw.

There was a strange sense of pride when he looked around. Billy had no idea how much Steve and Robin had changed since the previous owner had abandoned the Squawk before the lockdown, but it didn't matter. The place felt alive. Like something worth building. He found himself wondering, briefly, what else they might turn it into.

By the time he joined them in the seating area, he let himself drop onto the couch with a low sigh. The non-alcoholic beer Steve handed him earned an immediate eye-roll — but after a moment, Billy gave a small, approving nod. It wasn't the same, not even close. Still... it was something. And it was sweet of Steve to think of his still struggling health.

At the toast, Billy's smile turned a little awkward, his gaze dropping to the bottle in his hands.

"Thanks. I mean... We'll see, right? I still doubt we'll come up with anything better..." he muttered. Then, he glanced to Robin, biting his lip.

"Hey, um... Buckley..."
"Yeah?" 

Robin leaned forward and looked at him, curious. Billy's eyes flicked away again, his nails picking at the label of his beer.

"I was kind of a dick to you before. Sorry."

The apology was brief, but not dismissive. Just... difficult. Like he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

Robin smiled slowly. "I wasn't very kind either, I was just... confused, so... It's okay. Forgive and forget, right?" she said, raising her beer towards him. Billy grinned back, clinking their bottles together.

Movement outside caught their attention. All three turned toward the large windows as a cyclist came into view.

"Oh! That's Will," Robin chanted.
"And that's Hop and El," Billy added, nodding toward the car emerging from the treeline, passing Will on the dirt roat. 

Billy exhaled slowly, took a long swallow from his non-alcoholic beer like it could do anything, and got up. 

"Alright then," he muttered, more to himself than to them. "Let's do this."

He smiled a little awkwardly… maybe even lovingly as he continued speaking to fill Robin in on everything. At some point, he noticed that his jaw ached from that constant grin, and he also realized that a smile like that might not fit the topic at all, so he cleared his throat and finally ended his monologue.

“Okay… uh… that’s all for now. So brace yourself.. things might get a little awkward, the atmosphere… I mean… how we interact with each other. I don’t know if the waters have calmed down yet, but I’ve realized that we’re only strong if we all work together. There’s a lot to do… we finally need to figure out exactly what Vecna is after… and above all, we need to carefully examine who plays what role in his game and which of the… victims… needs the most protection… or which of them needs to become even more active.”

His gaze fell on Billy, and everything inside him tightened again. Billy was one of those victims, just like El, Will, and Max, because even though Max wasn’t conscious right now… she was still alive… she hadn’t been completely broken by Vecna.. she was fighting every day, every second.

“They’re a connection to him…”

he murmured, each word feeling so incredibly heavy, so restless... so suspended in a vortex of information that didn’t make sense yet. Steve walked behind Robin; the building felt like a little home to him, a place where he had a purpose, something that offered him security. A small realm where they could act freely. No one cared... no stranger came here to check on them. They were just young people broadcasting some silly radio shows to the city... a bit of music, a few phrases that seemed jumbled, that sometimes made no sense to outsiders... a beautiful voice on the microphone sharing partly philosophical anecdotes, which, however, seemed as if they were merely intended to lighten the mood in the quarantine zone a little. And that was exactly the goal... it was their way of packaging a lot of information into codes.. everyone in the group would always be able to receive these signals, even if the radios fell silent.

Steve had to stifle a grin when Billy gratefully accepted the beer but didn’t seem particularly pleased, since it simply contained no alcohol. No, that was definitely not the same… the bitter taste was stronger; it merely refreshed, but it didn’t soften his thoughts or make his condition more bearable.. yet health came first.

A soft sigh escaped Steve as he heard Billy apologize to Robin... that was exactly what nourished his hope, exactly what he needed in that moment, the confidence that they were drawing closer to one another and respecting each other. He, too, heard several vehicles approaching... or rather, a car and a bicycle. Here we go… the tension returned to Steve’s bones, because from now on, Billy was his anchor… but he could no longer simply touch him… ground himself through him. It was still too early for that.

[...]