Story
Complete
Erotica: Diving In, and Giving It Your All
by
Categories
EducationalMusings & MumblingsRated - MatureSoloTutorialWriting - General
Co-authors
MuseMom
We are here today, boys and girls, to talk about sex. First off, tell that inner voice that just went "Oh god" to go get a cookie and shut up. Sex is a natural, amazing thing. It's also messy and sweaty and exhausting if you do it right. I host a group on Literary Social about writing erotic fiction, and have posted some articles there already. That group is linked in "Further Resources" if you'd like to join to read more of my random musings on erotica. Today however, we're going to just go over some interesting bits of things I've heard from people about why they can't write erotica or why their writing is bad.
Now that the naysayers are gone, we can get started, yes? So. One common misconception is that in order to write decent sex, you have to actually have had sex in real life. This is not true. I was a late bloomer, and had already been writing erotic fiction for years before that. The best way to gain your bearings in this XXX rated world is to live it. If not for real with a partner or with yourself, then vicariously. Devour every single book you can get your hands on. Read authors you wouldn't normally read. Delve into the taboo stuff you wouldn't even write ever. Your goal is to see how other authors make the scene work. Pay attention to what works for you. What makes your cheeks flush. What makes you uncomfortable. The more you explore and know about your own likes and dislikes, the better prepared you'll be to use it as a narrative.
Practice truly makes perfect.The first few times you write sexual content, seriously, throw them away. You won't want to look back and see them. Everyone's first few experiences are awful. They're stilted and foreign, the words don't seem to flow just right. This is normal, and we all go through it. Don't even re-read them, just get to the end and hit "select all-delete". The goal in the beginning isn't to actually write that first sex scene. It's to get you comfortable with the IDEA of it. To get past that internal "This is naughty" voice. After a few test tries, you'll find that the words don't make you cringe as badly as they once did. Once you get a sample that you can force yourself to re-read, look over it objectively, thinking about the reading you did beforehand. Is it going to be brilliant? Hell no. But we now have a draft on which to improve.
Writing sex is like a dance.It's fluid, a back and forth. One person in the narrative is only half of it. You should always try to start by writing by yourself. After all, that's how we learn in order to be a better writing partner in the future. When writing, try to be equal. One person doing all the giving and one doing all the receiving is quite boring. In real life, that person would be "cold fish", someone who doesn't reciprocate or seem to want to contribute to the sexual encounter at all. Not fun. Since we're writing what we want people to view as real people, you want them to be caricatures of what these characters would be in real life. No cold fish! Always show giving, receiving, and two people who genuinely want to be together to make each OTHER happy. Otherwise, readers are going to find it hard to root for this relationship.
Don't just react, instigate.So many times I see a sex scene where the 2nd part or person is simply parroting the responses to the first. Yes, showing the responses and reactions of the people to the scene is important. If someone touches me, I'm going to want to write how I reacted to that touch, to their presence. But, and this is a big one. If that is all you write, then the scene either dies a quick death OR you are leaving the first person to push it forward once again. Ideally, you want the 1st person to do something. The 2nd person responds to what the first person did and then does something themselves. So now, the first person can respond to what their sexual partner has done and then add more, and it keeps moving back and forth, gaining more momentum between them. This is what sex is at its basic, primal stage. The sharing and giving of pleasure that keeps moving higher and higher. Make sure both of your characters are being nicely lifted, and one isn't doing all the heavy grunt-work. Sex is, at its core, two characters in your writing becoming 100% vulnerable to the other. It is a partnership, it is a melding of both people into one for that moment in time. We already HAVE sex without this, it's called pornography. We aren't porn scripters, we are writers, and thus we need to treat the moment with the respect it deserves.
Senses! You have them, they have them, we all have them, use 'em! Sex is something that you immerse yourself in. Details and descriptors can take a ho-hum scene to a mindblowing one. What do you see? Smell? How does their skin feel under your fingertips? The sheets against your back? What you do taste as your tongue traces their skin? When you kiss, do you taste mint from toothpaste or the wine on their breath? How does their voice sound when they're speaking in hushed tones? When they cry out in pleasure? These things bring such a vivid picture to mind when used that they really should be first in the toolbox when writing any scene for a book or roleplay, not just sex. Make your vision come alive.
Use words sparingly.You can only say "thrust", "moaned" and "arched" so many times. I myself am guilty of this and usually go back over a post to edit if I notice I used the same words too often. You want to throw out some different things. Groaned, sighed, murmured, breathed, whimpered, purred, grunted, begged, rasped, whispered....just a few words that can be used in place of "moaned". And reading those, they each convey a particular tone. You want the writing to feel as if it's effortless, even if behind the scenes you've got tabs open for an online thesaurus.
Be as realistic as you can.Readers can only stretch their incredulity so far. We can buy that the world is a perfect shining rainbow and these things always happen when the woman isn't ovulating, or she's secretly on the pill and neither have ever had any diseases ever because the world is one happy oyster. However, that cannot stretch to things like... anal sex without any lubrication at all. That tears. That hurts. That will succeed in no sex being had that night or any nights past it for awhile. Your readers notice that. They will also notice if your character suddenly develops more hands than they had before. Remember to always think the scene through in your head. If someone has one hand in their partner's hair and one at their hip, you can't just write "This person's hand stroked her cheek" Which hand?? What isn't he/she doing now? How does this LOOK when I'm picturing it, now that I don't know what hand got moved!??! A better thing to say is "This person moved their hand from the other person's hair, sliding their fingers over the person's cheek". NOW I know which hand moved, and can picture it better. This isn't a werebeast with too many appendages any more. It sounds stupid, but it really does ruin the mood of a piece of writing if the reader has to puzzle out what exactly is going on.
Let your characters talk.It doesn't matter if you personally hate a word, or if you would never say or do something. This isn't you. In that moment, you are writing your character, who may be the complete opposite of you. I have some characters of mine that are very vanilla, lovey sex. They would not use crude words and demands during their lovemaking. They adore their mates, relish the way they feel and the romantic emotions when they are together. On the flip side, my more adventurous characters would be bored to tears if I made them write a lovey dovey lovemaking post with nothing hot and feverish about it at all. Remember you're not writing as yourself, this isn't you and it isn't meant to be. Let your characters have their say.
Remember, sex is FUN!So many times I see people embarrassed that they are writing erotica. Or, while they enjoy it, they hide it away like a dirty little secret. Even worse, they judge others for writing it. Look, sex is everywhere. We all either are doing it, have done it in the past, or really want to do it and just haven't had the opportunity yet. While asexuality and celibacy are present in the world at large, they are a small minority of us. So, just figure, everyone else around you is thinking about sex too. Hell, my mates are hot as sin. If I could jump them every post, I probably would. I just try to give breaks to recuperate now and then so I don't burn them out. Let yourself go, and release yourself from the idea that what you want to write is wrong or dirty, and you'll be amazed and what you can create. By yourself or with a partner, sex itself can be a very fun read.
To finish, I've included some resources with phrases and explanations and things you may like to look up on. The phrases and alternative word choice lists are quite helpful.
Literary Social Erotica Group
http://literarysocial.com/romanceanderotica/
Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9661958/1/The-Ultimate-Guide-to-Writing-Smut-Fic
Sexy Phrases In/Out of the Bedroom
https://writersinthestorm.wordpress.com/2012/12/12/sexy-phrases-for-in-and-out-of-the-bedroom/
WriteWorld Article List (Some interesting stuff here! Positions? There is a list for that. Places to try sex? There's a list for that. Mechanics and photos in a sex tutorial? Got that too!)
http://writeworld.org/SexScene
25 Humpalicious Steps for your First Sex Scene (A hilarious, tongue in cheek guide.)
http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2013/04/30/25-humpalicious-steps-for-writing-your-first-sex-scene-by-delilah-s-dawson-author-of-wicked-as-she-wants/
Be A Sex Writing Strumpet (MONTHS of blogs. Like 30 parts I believe. I'm still combing through, but they're well written, humorous, and insightful. Worth a look through!)
http://www.staciakane.net/tag/be-a-sex-writing-strumpet/
Now that the naysayers are gone, we can get started, yes? So. One common misconception is that in order to write decent sex, you have to actually have had sex in real life. This is not true. I was a late bloomer, and had already been writing erotic fiction for years before that. The best way to gain your bearings in this XXX rated world is to live it. If not for real with a partner or with yourself, then vicariously. Devour every single book you can get your hands on. Read authors you wouldn't normally read. Delve into the taboo stuff you wouldn't even write ever. Your goal is to see how other authors make the scene work. Pay attention to what works for you. What makes your cheeks flush. What makes you uncomfortable. The more you explore and know about your own likes and dislikes, the better prepared you'll be to use it as a narrative.
Practice truly makes perfect.The first few times you write sexual content, seriously, throw them away. You won't want to look back and see them. Everyone's first few experiences are awful. They're stilted and foreign, the words don't seem to flow just right. This is normal, and we all go through it. Don't even re-read them, just get to the end and hit "select all-delete". The goal in the beginning isn't to actually write that first sex scene. It's to get you comfortable with the IDEA of it. To get past that internal "This is naughty" voice. After a few test tries, you'll find that the words don't make you cringe as badly as they once did. Once you get a sample that you can force yourself to re-read, look over it objectively, thinking about the reading you did beforehand. Is it going to be brilliant? Hell no. But we now have a draft on which to improve.
Writing sex is like a dance.It's fluid, a back and forth. One person in the narrative is only half of it. You should always try to start by writing by yourself. After all, that's how we learn in order to be a better writing partner in the future. When writing, try to be equal. One person doing all the giving and one doing all the receiving is quite boring. In real life, that person would be "cold fish", someone who doesn't reciprocate or seem to want to contribute to the sexual encounter at all. Not fun. Since we're writing what we want people to view as real people, you want them to be caricatures of what these characters would be in real life. No cold fish! Always show giving, receiving, and two people who genuinely want to be together to make each OTHER happy. Otherwise, readers are going to find it hard to root for this relationship.
Don't just react, instigate.So many times I see a sex scene where the 2nd part or person is simply parroting the responses to the first. Yes, showing the responses and reactions of the people to the scene is important. If someone touches me, I'm going to want to write how I reacted to that touch, to their presence. But, and this is a big one. If that is all you write, then the scene either dies a quick death OR you are leaving the first person to push it forward once again. Ideally, you want the 1st person to do something. The 2nd person responds to what the first person did and then does something themselves. So now, the first person can respond to what their sexual partner has done and then add more, and it keeps moving back and forth, gaining more momentum between them. This is what sex is at its basic, primal stage. The sharing and giving of pleasure that keeps moving higher and higher. Make sure both of your characters are being nicely lifted, and one isn't doing all the heavy grunt-work. Sex is, at its core, two characters in your writing becoming 100% vulnerable to the other. It is a partnership, it is a melding of both people into one for that moment in time. We already HAVE sex without this, it's called pornography. We aren't porn scripters, we are writers, and thus we need to treat the moment with the respect it deserves.
Senses! You have them, they have them, we all have them, use 'em! Sex is something that you immerse yourself in. Details and descriptors can take a ho-hum scene to a mindblowing one. What do you see? Smell? How does their skin feel under your fingertips? The sheets against your back? What you do taste as your tongue traces their skin? When you kiss, do you taste mint from toothpaste or the wine on their breath? How does their voice sound when they're speaking in hushed tones? When they cry out in pleasure? These things bring such a vivid picture to mind when used that they really should be first in the toolbox when writing any scene for a book or roleplay, not just sex. Make your vision come alive.
Use words sparingly.You can only say "thrust", "moaned" and "arched" so many times. I myself am guilty of this and usually go back over a post to edit if I notice I used the same words too often. You want to throw out some different things. Groaned, sighed, murmured, breathed, whimpered, purred, grunted, begged, rasped, whispered....just a few words that can be used in place of "moaned". And reading those, they each convey a particular tone. You want the writing to feel as if it's effortless, even if behind the scenes you've got tabs open for an online thesaurus.
Be as realistic as you can.Readers can only stretch their incredulity so far. We can buy that the world is a perfect shining rainbow and these things always happen when the woman isn't ovulating, or she's secretly on the pill and neither have ever had any diseases ever because the world is one happy oyster. However, that cannot stretch to things like... anal sex without any lubrication at all. That tears. That hurts. That will succeed in no sex being had that night or any nights past it for awhile. Your readers notice that. They will also notice if your character suddenly develops more hands than they had before. Remember to always think the scene through in your head. If someone has one hand in their partner's hair and one at their hip, you can't just write "This person's hand stroked her cheek" Which hand?? What isn't he/she doing now? How does this LOOK when I'm picturing it, now that I don't know what hand got moved!??! A better thing to say is "This person moved their hand from the other person's hair, sliding their fingers over the person's cheek". NOW I know which hand moved, and can picture it better. This isn't a werebeast with too many appendages any more. It sounds stupid, but it really does ruin the mood of a piece of writing if the reader has to puzzle out what exactly is going on.
Let your characters talk.It doesn't matter if you personally hate a word, or if you would never say or do something. This isn't you. In that moment, you are writing your character, who may be the complete opposite of you. I have some characters of mine that are very vanilla, lovey sex. They would not use crude words and demands during their lovemaking. They adore their mates, relish the way they feel and the romantic emotions when they are together. On the flip side, my more adventurous characters would be bored to tears if I made them write a lovey dovey lovemaking post with nothing hot and feverish about it at all. Remember you're not writing as yourself, this isn't you and it isn't meant to be. Let your characters have their say.
Remember, sex is FUN!So many times I see people embarrassed that they are writing erotica. Or, while they enjoy it, they hide it away like a dirty little secret. Even worse, they judge others for writing it. Look, sex is everywhere. We all either are doing it, have done it in the past, or really want to do it and just haven't had the opportunity yet. While asexuality and celibacy are present in the world at large, they are a small minority of us. So, just figure, everyone else around you is thinking about sex too. Hell, my mates are hot as sin. If I could jump them every post, I probably would. I just try to give breaks to recuperate now and then so I don't burn them out. Let yourself go, and release yourself from the idea that what you want to write is wrong or dirty, and you'll be amazed and what you can create. By yourself or with a partner, sex itself can be a very fun read.
To finish, I've included some resources with phrases and explanations and things you may like to look up on. The phrases and alternative word choice lists are quite helpful.
Literary Social Erotica Group
http://literarysocial.com/romanceanderotica/
Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9661958/1/The-Ultimate-Guide-to-Writing-Smut-Fic
Sexy Phrases In/Out of the Bedroom
https://writersinthestorm.wordpress.com/2012/12/12/sexy-phrases-for-in-and-out-of-the-bedroom/
WriteWorld Article List (Some interesting stuff here! Positions? There is a list for that. Places to try sex? There's a list for that. Mechanics and photos in a sex tutorial? Got that too!)
http://writeworld.org/SexScene
25 Humpalicious Steps for your First Sex Scene (A hilarious, tongue in cheek guide.)
http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2013/04/30/25-humpalicious-steps-for-writing-your-first-sex-scene-by-delilah-s-dawson-author-of-wicked-as-she-wants/
Be A Sex Writing Strumpet (MONTHS of blogs. Like 30 parts I believe. I'm still combing through, but they're well written, humorous, and insightful. Worth a look through!)
http://www.staciakane.net/tag/be-a-sex-writing-strumpet/